Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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