she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
