VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
She told me I should be a condom model.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
