nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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