This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
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We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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