when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
