well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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