you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize