Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
