party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
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