i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Randomize
