Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
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At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
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You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize