I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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