he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
