Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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