Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
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There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
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Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
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