Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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