I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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