is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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