Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
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