I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
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Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
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he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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