I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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