I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
