It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
