i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
