We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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