I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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