I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
