I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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