who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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