VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
