You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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