dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
