are you so shy because you have an std?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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