Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
cat food counts as protein by the way
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
