it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
