He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
