I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
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