I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
