I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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