I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize