its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
