alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Randomize