I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
