every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
