I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize