You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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