i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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