i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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