Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I met the friendliest cop last night
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Dicks are not precious.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
