FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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