I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
