is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
