and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize