Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
