Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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