the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
