I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
