I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
don't judge my taste in strippers
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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