EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
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