You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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