420 ftw
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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