so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
