I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
