hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
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