It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
You smell like stripper and shame
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
