Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
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I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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