He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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