so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Randomize
