On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
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